Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:date:
 

An Army Of Artistic Purpose by ~RoninGaleria:iconRoninGaleria:





Graphite floods of abstract calamities,
Varying shades of grey burning gently,
Aging and softening, eroding in time.

Paper rolls from memory to thought,
Image to scripture
           Layed    out
This  way
and
                        That
                        Way

It breathes the air of free reign
A melodic sense of purpose
Carrying      on    to
                    Absence of eraser use
Just scribbles and dashes
Running along the accidental collisions
Of poor thought processes brought together.
The novels that                 never got off the ground,
The ship had sailed but hope returns four pages later
Bringing in soldiers of war holding burning torches
Running rampant in an invasion delivering a mighty inferno
Into this blaze upon thinned wood.
Knife blades brake
Under fanatical stress and long term aches of hairline fractures,
A storm that rages through the night
Leaving a unsuspected peaceful morning in its wake,
These neuron bred armies roll   on    home
To rest
To lie dormant
Until hope breeds inspiration.
©2005-2009 ~RoninGaleria
:iconroningaleria:

Author's Comments

If you can think of a better category than General Poetry > Open. Then please let me know, but I think this fits.

The poem is pretty straight forward, I suggest reading it twice. (Reading a poem twice is always a good idea though ;) )

I wanted to write and I eventually got this out, all in one pour, edited it a bit, if you see something out of place let me know, my ears are open for critique as long as it's not content related. The content of my poetry will never shift, I feel it takes away from the rawness it contains upon writing.

The poem itself reflects an artistic process. The main target of the poem is a journal 'the artist' has, which contains thoughts, stories, and drawings. Amongst other things you could think to put into something like this. It isn't a private journal or anything. Assume 'the artist' is willing to share this with people. Not sure if that changes the effect of the poem but to me it does, just a litte.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconlyricart:
inspiration :floating: beautiful.
:iconroningaleria:
thank you very much :)

--
~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
:iconkuku-desyn:
wow ronin, i think that's the best open poem i've ever read...
:iconroningaleria:
:thumbsup:

--
~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
:iconmorbidmac:
Awesome poem!
This line really got me.
"Knife blades brake"
I thought it was a typo at first.
Now I see.
Awesome!

--
Freedom of speech is having the right to shout "theater" in a crowded fire.
:iconeldeago:
Very moving !

--
If your going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance!

My station: [link]
:iconengel08:
That's rather lovely. I think this is one of the best ones you wrote. Especially the line about the books unfinished. The visual content of this poem is just as sharp and witty as the words and content. I think you captured the artist well. :)

however the placement of this comma bothers me.
To, lie dormant
unless you meant for that frank pause to be there. However to actually mentally say it is awkward.
I suppose that we are not used to using brake instead of break in this day and age. That's the tough part of using one archaic word out of an entire poem of modern ones. Try not to throw too many monkey-wrenches into your work my friend.

--
\
:iconroningaleria:
it can be read different ways, brake is a past tense of break listed as archaic in the dictiionary. It can also be construed as the slowing of the blades or a reference to their grinding for brake is also a tool.

I generally leave these things unchanged for the fact readers can see them as meaning different things.

--
~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
:iconroningaleria:
taken from my below response:

"it can be read different ways, brake is a past tense of break listed as archaic in the dictiionary. It can also be construed as the slowing of the blades or a reference to their grinding for brake is also a tool.

I generally leave these things unchanged for the fact readers can see them as meaning different things."

It's also interesting that it was originally a mistake, I find it interesting people generally I assume my mistakes are on purpose :p I think I shall leave it though.

(fixing comma, wasnt sure if i should've put a pause in there or not so I think I will just eliminate it)

--
~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.

Details

October 24, 2005
1.9 KB
1.3 MB
1000×1000

Statistics

39
4 [who?]
170 (0 today)
8 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map