Graphite floods of abstract calamities,
Varying shades of grey burning gently,
Aging and softening, eroding in time.
Paper rolls from memory to thought,
Image to scripture
Layed out
This way
and
That
Way
It breathes the air of free reign
A melodic sense of purpose
Carrying on to
Absence of eraser use
Just scribbles and dashes
Running along the accidental collisions
Of poor thought processes brought together.
The novels that never got off the ground,
The ship had sailed but hope returns four pages later
Bringing in soldiers of war holding burning torches
Running rampant in an invasion delivering a mighty inferno
Into this blaze upon thinned wood.
Knife blades brake
Under fanatical stress and long term aches of hairline fractures,
A storm that rages through the night
Leaving a unsuspected peaceful morning in its wake,
These neuron bred armies roll on home
To rest
To lie dormant
Until hope breeds inspiration.














Comments
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~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
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~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
This line really got me.
"Knife blades brake"
I thought it was a typo at first.
Now I see.
Awesome!
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Freedom of speech is having the right to shout "theater" in a crowded fire.
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If your going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance!
My station: [link]
however the placement of this comma bothers me.
To, lie dormant
unless you meant for that frank pause to be there. However to actually mentally say it is awkward.
I suppose that we are not used to using brake instead of break in this day and age. That's the tough part of using one archaic word out of an entire poem of modern ones. Try not to throw too many monkey-wrenches into your work my friend.
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I generally leave these things unchanged for the fact readers can see them as meaning different things.
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~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
"it can be read different ways, brake is a past tense of break listed as archaic in the dictiionary. It can also be construed as the slowing of the blades or a reference to their grinding for brake is also a tool.
I generally leave these things unchanged for the fact readers can see them as meaning different things."
It's also interesting that it was originally a mistake, I find it interesting people generally I assume my mistakes are on purpose
(fixing comma, wasnt sure if i should've put a pause in there or not so I think I will just eliminate it)
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~RoninGaleria My comments carry honesty 98% of the time, bear this in mind.
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